The Bowdoin Orient

November 17, 2000
Volume CXXXII, Number 10

Penny Wars winner still undecided

by William Day, CONTRIBUTOR

   Clinkity-clink. The unmistakable jingle of copper and silver created a slight, yet undeniable drone on our fair campus last Friday. Across the quad, through hallways, in the classroom, the clinking came from every khaki-pants pocket on its way to Smith Union. In the Union, the slight clinking became a roaring waterfall of change at the Up ‘til Dawn table, the epicenter of the Penny Wars competition. Add to this flow of coins the sweet aroma of a good, old-fashioned bakesale, and you’ve got yourself one heck of a fundraiser.
    Penny Wars provided an excellent forum for students to act upon their affinity or seething hatred toward any particular social house. The penny jars elicited such a response that extra buckets had to be put out to hold the swelling collections. A palpable tension hung in the air as students anxiously wondered whether their pennies would truly make a difference. Earlier exit polls had shown the contest was to be a tight one, but no one was prepared for the mayhem that would ensue during the counting process.
    After finally ending the collection period, the Up ‘til Dawn team began the laborious counting process. Chief Counting Officer Erica Bellamy ’03 had confidence in a rapid, accurate count and said, “We’re going to stick to the basics: pennies are one cent, nickels are five, dimes ten, and quarters twenty-five. Nothing fuzzy about that math.” Alas, predictions have an uncanny ability to turn out false.
    Problems arose as long nights of coin-counting began to take their toll on the counters. “My fingers hurt,” whined Assistant Nickel Director Alex Duncan ‘03. Working in shifts, counters alternated from feverishly sorting and counting to resting and icing their weary fingers. Speculation surfaced, suggesting that these weakened fingers may have compromised the accuracy of the counters. Nonetheless, the selfless counters forged on, jar after jar.
    Problems continued with reports of irate students, who contended that the jar layout was too confusing to be followed. Said potentially disenfranchised donor Ryan Q. ‘03, “I set out to put my pennies in the Boody Street jar, which I believe is a very strong house. Afterward, I was dismayed to find I had dropped them in Pat Buchanan’s jar!”
    When the interviewer pointed out that there was no jar for Pat Buchanan, Ryan quickly changed the subject and eventually ran away, throwing doubt on the legitimacy of his accusations.
    Amid the controversy, the Up ‘til Dawn counting committee declined to declare a winner, and launched an extensive hand recount. They hope to be finished with the count by next week.
    Although Penny Wars generated much debate, everyone agreed the bakesale was a true winner, raising an estimated $175. Brownies, cookies, cheesecake, and pies dazzled the eye and thrilled the tongue. While each dish was a marvel in baking achievement, the blue ribbon went to Kara Podkaminer ‘03 who knocked the secret panel of judges for a loop with her chocolate pecan pie.
    “It was like a culinary alley-oop,” an unnamed judge reported. “The pecans lobbed my tongue up, and then the chocolate slammed it down. I’m not afraid to say it hit the spot.”
    The Up ‘til Dawn team reminds students that all proceeds from Penny Wars and the bakesale go toward St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital, which performs vital research on childhood illnesses. The team also encourages all to look for other Up ‘til Dawn fundraisers throughout the year.