The Bowdoin Orient

February 2, 2001
Volume CXXXII, Number 14

The Tower: 5A, a fictional series

by SARAH RAMEY - COLUMNIST

Oh, Reality TV. This phenomenon, simultaneously revolting and addicting, has taken over 5A. I always think that I can rest on my morals and principles and abstain when they come on, but then I hear "6 people, picked to live in a house/island/bed" and I go running to the common room. I literally allow myself sit on my couch for an hour muttering such intellectual commentary to myself as "Oooh, Kelly, busted."
I can't even begin to make a rational or reasonable case for why I do this to myself. They are not good shows. In fact sometimes the show will just get so bad that you think you can't possibly watch anymore, because, well, you hate it. But at that moment, suddenly your enjoyment isn't even a factor anymore. You are rooted to the couch by some transcendent, all-powerful force. You are hating it on the one hand, but on the other hand needing it.
On the Real World, that damn Mormon, Julie, might be in tears again, and yet somehow, something binds me to my seat while I watch her ridiculous sniveling for 20 minutes. Julie, did you perhaps consider that your parents wouldn't be "psyched" or say "pumped" for you to drop out of Brigham Young to live in a house of sin for 3 months? Perhaps I keep watching out of pure amazement.
But no, there is something else that makes me wait out episode after episode of what can only be termed as trash. This force is an elusive one though. I still cannot pin it down.
This evening, for example, Temptation Island, a show that is undeniably, unashamedly, about (now you're expecting something like "sex" or "seduction" but no no, it's about..) ho's. The Premise: Who will be a bigger ho, you or your boyfriend? The Plot: Which ho will Taheed pick tonight? The Twist: Will Billy be a ho to get back at Mandy for being a ho? These kinds of questions involving the word "ho" could go on forever. Why? Because the show is about hos. But I still watch it. Can't do anything about it.
However, unlike many, I will not sit up on my high horse and preach about the moral degradation of society that these shows perpetuate. I wouldn't say they teach anything "beneficial", per se, but man are they entertaining. My roommates and I get all psyched up for complete awfulness involving secrets and scandal, recounting the highlights of the last week's show.
We will have worked ourselves into a state of palpable anticipation, when inevitably, in walks That Boy who has to go off about how awful the show is. For now we'll call our hypothetical boy Pavid Mutchinson. Pavid will stand in the doorway, smugly, shaking his head, mocking us for even considering Temptation Island as a viewing option.
Then Smug Pavid will proceed with his tirade, Maxim in hand of course, while making his way slowly into the room. What, Pavid, may I ask are you doing if you indeed despise this show? Surveying our drapes? Inspecting the indirect lighting arrangement? No!
You are trying to position yourself better in the room so that you have no other choice but to look in the direction of the television. As your ranting continues, your legs apparently become so weary that you have to take a seat. But what now, Smug Pavid? Why so silent? Ah I see; Temptation Island takes another victim.
But have no shame, Pavid. Let us just simply accept that we are all Americans. We are not a nationality of real class. We will watch reality TV.
However, while I appear to endorse reality TV, I must draw the line somewhere. If Bowdoin decides to create their own version of Temptation Island, bad things will happen in 5A. The Bowdoin Bubble is a terrible, terrible phenomenon. In short, it made me want to set myself on fire.
The reason I mention this is at all, instead of filing it away into the part of my brain reserved for "I don't ever want to think about that again",, is that I have gotten wind of a Bowdoin Bubble Part II. Part II? That's like, if given the chance, electing George "Dubya" again. Just for fun. A neat little thing to do.
All joking aside, I beg this campus to stand up for what is good and right and to stop the Bowdoin Bubble from rearing it is ugly head yet again. Temptation Island is one thing…it is removed. Beautiful people on an island far far away is a very different thing than fifteen people, in the basement of a social house, who all make me uncomfortable when I look at the television.
Now I know you'll say, "just don't watch it , Julianna," but I've gone over this! I can't do anything about it! I will watch all 24 hours of the Bowdoin Bubble if it airs again, even if I am sitting on my couch, on fire. So, if only for my sake, please please keep this campus reality TV-free. Thank you.