The Bowdoin Orient

February 2, 2001
Volume CXXXII, Number 14

The American political scene, hardly a boring failure

by TAYLOR WASHBURN - CONTRIBUTOR\

In the wake of the recent election, much has been made of the ongoing failure of America's youth to participate in politics. A quick (and ridiculously unscientific) survey of several of my friends has yielded a few common explanations for our generation's collective civic apathy. Though a few noted resentfully that they feel their views go ignored by traditional politicians, the most popular complaint was that "politics is just boring."
I, for one, could not disagree more. From the flying sparks and personal attacks to whispered rumors and backroom compromises, from the polished rhetoric and legalistic wrangling to the passionate harangues and the raw emotion, politics in America gives me a thrill unrivaled by anything this side of Pedro Martinez. After much thought on the subject, I concluded that America's youth must be missing out on something. Popular coverage of politics, after all, is hardly zestful or, for that matter, even didactic in nature. The secret, then, must lie in introducing to the Nintendo generation some of the characters that can provide our political scene with drama worthy of Shakespeare and comedy worthy of the Marx Brothers.
Certainly the most incendiary person in Congress these days is truculent Ohio Democrat James Traficant. Known for his penchant for ditching the party line and his tendency to make wild claims about his political opponents, Traficant recently jumped into the national spotlight by supporting Republican Dennis Hastert for the House Speakership. "I wasn't elected to turn over a fucking voting card to (Democratic Leader) Dick Gephart," he remarked bitterly. Democrats, not amused by the reckless apostate, have vowed revenge. "He'll be made chairman of the sub-subcommittee on public restrooms," predicted one Democratic consultant.
Being investigated for ties to organized crime in his Rust Belt district has done little to quiet the outspoken Traficant, who first rose to prominence as one of the few county sheriffs who refused to enact foreclosure orders on the homes of unemployed steel workers in the early 1980s. After surviving an attempt by a political rival to have him committed for insanity, Traficant has been elected to Congress seven times, often by large margins. His web site features a wickedly funny animation of the surly, sideburned Traficant glowering at the camera and swinging a two-by-four with the legend "Banging away in Washington, D.C." emblazoned boldly on the side.
Though one would expect a man with a history of criminal investigations as comprehensive as Traficant's to avoid making rash allegations, the Ohio Congressman has been more than happy to inveigh violently against all those who offend his sensibilities. In the last year, Traficant has called Janet Reno a "traitor" for refusing to investigate Chinese campaign contributions and been heard loudly questioning the legitimacy of the prosecutors checking into his convoluted personal affairs. "I tell him to keep his god-damned mouth shut," says Democratic political boss and Traficant friend Don Hanni, "but telling him what to do is like kicking a mule in the ass."
Even more bizarre than this is Traficant's language on the floor of the House. He has argued on behalf of canceled television shows, accused White House foreign policy experts of "smoking dope," defended the "Buckeye vixens" and "foxy ladies" of the Ohio State women's rugby team, and routinely uses the Star Trek phrase "beam me up" to express his displeasure with various initiatives. Short speeches to Congress about the wonder of "old reliable" toilets, the terrible possibility of Viagra for dogs and the potentially treasonous nature of children's toys are among the other Traficant classics. Now tell me - do you still think American politics is boring?

-Taylor is a sophomore.