The Bowdoin Orient

March 2, 2001
Volume CXXXII, Number 18

They're driving us crazy!

by BEN GOTT - COLUMNIST

   Having just returned from a vacation (desperately needed but too short), I am fully prepared to tackle yet another human interest item that affects the lives of Bowdoin students campuswide. This issue is relevant whether you live in the Tower, out in Harpswell, or in one of the condemned fraternity buildings. I am talking, of course, about that detestable segment of the population known as...really bad drivers.
   I chose - unwisely enough - to drive from my town in Connecticut to Bowdoin last Sunday. Anyone who was on campus last Sunday knows that, for the most part, the day's weather consisted of snow, sleet, and freezing rain, and that travel conditions were horrible. My usual four-and-a-half hour drive home a week earlier had taken me over seven hours because of an accident on the New Hampshire turnpike, so I was looking forward to the return trip being a little more reasonable.
   Boy, was I wrong.
   It was snowing when I got up, so I was sure that I would encounter few difficulties on the road. However, the minute I entered the Mass Pike, I knew that I was in for a rather unpleasant surprise. For within only a few miles of the Pike's entrance, I saw my first of several accidents: a Ford Explorer had careened off a guardrail and had landed in a ditch.
   Now, before you Explorer owners get all huffy, let me make something clear: not all Explorer owners are really bad drivers. In fact, I had just spent the week with my friends Jane and John who own an Explorer that they've nicknamed "Patton."
   Of all the Explorers I have ever known, Patton is the finest. He explores the highways and byways of downtown Kihei with ease and grace, and you can almost hear him apologizing when Jane has to take out a second mortgage in order to buy a tank of gas. (Patton likes to eat a lot of gas, and gas in Hawaii is expensive.) Jane is a great driver, and she is careful to give Patton all of the love and care he needs in order for him to live a healthy, safe life.
   Unfortunately, some of the drivers between Connecticut and Maine last Sunday were much less compassionate toward their Explorers. Of the 14 accidents I saw, seven of them involved Ford Explorers. The Mass Pike, 495 North, 95 North, and 295 North were virtual Ford Explorer burial grounds.
   I'll be the first to admit that, when I'm riding in an Explorer (or, for that matter, in any SUV), I feel like I'm the king of the world. It's great to be sitting so high up on the road, master (or mistress) of one's domain. There's a certain power that comes from driving an SUV that can't be had anywhere else.
   When I'm piloting my Jetta down a highway in the sleet, snow, and rain, with Explorers passing me on the right, however, I feel very differently. The State of Maine made it perfectly clear that the reduced speed limit was "45," and yet there were SUVs passing me as if I was standing still. This kind of driving is very unsafe. These people were really bad drivers because they thought that their Explorers could save them from an accident. This simply wasn't so.
   Whenever I see an accident on the highway, I shiver, and these crashed Explorers were no exception. I saw one in New Hampshire that had flipped on its side. I saw one outside of Andover, Massachusetts that had had its entire passenger side destroyed as it got ripped down a guardrail. I saw one that had almost careened across the median. There were ambulances and police cars all around. It was a truly frightening sight.
   However, I couldn't help but wonder, as I crawled by, Jetta in third gear, radio turned off: would a little common sense have saved these really bad drivers? Would the simple understanding that a big car does not equal invulnerability have slowed them down? Could these accidents have been prevented? Were these really bad drivers in fact lulled into the false sense of security that comes from 16" Firestone tires, 5,000 pounds of steel, anti-lock brakes, four-wheel drive, and Eddie Bauer seats?
   Perhaps they were. Perhaps there is a lesson somewhere for those of us who feel invincible on the highway. Whatever the answer, though, I'm just glad I made it home.