The Bowdoin Orient

April 6, 2001
Volume CXXXII, Number 20

Liquid Platypus in the Pub

by LAURA NEWMAN - A&E EDITOR

   Liquid Platypus will be playing this Saturday at 9:30 p.m. in the Pub. The band members sat down for a quick interview before rehearsal.
   Orient: So you're playing in the pub this weekend.
   LP: Yes. It's a big step up for us, as our last gig was in a grungy dive, but we think we're ready for it.
   Orient: I hope so. I know you've gone through many ups and downs in your time together; has this meteoric rise upset any of the band's cohesiveness?
   LP: Only a little bit. Just the other day we were arguing about the proper sideburn length for our image, and Emily's flute often brings to the fore some of the male band members' own insecurities with their masculinity, but otherwise it's been more or less fine. The important thing is the band's recent attainment of self-satisfaction.
   Orient: I've noticed that you're answering all my questions collectively, speaking in unison in an eerie monotone. How have you attained that kind of togetherness with all the recent additions to the personnel?
   LP: Well, you see we have a flute as our lead instrument. Some people say it's like this, and some people say it's like that, but peoples is peoples. The flute lends an interesting quality, we think. We have always thought.
   Orient: Well, then… How would you describe your music? Some people have said it's funky, some people have said it's rockish, and some people have said you play "an interesting blend of alternative rock and jazz." Explain.
   LP: The use of ordinary language is inadequate. We've found the best descriptions for our style come from the underwater world of the humpback whale. (They take out a tape player and press play. The incredible sounds of the whale's song fill the room.) I'm sure this will help you to understand.
   Orient: Yes… I see it much more clearly now. I suppose the only way to truly understand it is to listen to it, am I wrong?
   LP: You understand us exactly.
   Orient: Okay… returning to the "funky" aspect of your music, how would you describe that element? Being Bowdoin College students, you obviously don't look terribly funky…
   LP: Take off your sunglasses. Orient: Excuse me?
   LP: You have to take off your sunglasses so you can see the funk.
   Orient: (takes off sunglasses) Ah, yes. I see it now. Anyway, do you think you could give us any information about the members of the band? There are many rumors floating around about you guys…
   LP: Well, most of those are terrible lies. Dana is not, and never has been, involved in any kind of mafia activity and that thing about Steve and the twelve Haitians is complete fabrication.
   Orient: Interesting. I'm glad you've given me the opportunity to let the truth be known. Now, how long have you been together as a band?
   LP: Forever.
   Orient: What do you mean?
   LP: Forever. Orient: There must have been a certain time when you met…
   LP: No. Orient: Well, when were you born?
   LP: (silence).
   Orient: Ok… Well, good luck on Saturday and it's been a pleasure talking with you.
   LP: Thanks.