The Bowdoin Orient

April 6, 2001
Volume CXXXII, Number 20

It's really not that funny

by ACADIA SENESE - COLUMNIST

   I like April Fools Day, well not if the biggest joke of all is snowbanks and more classes. But still, it's a great chance to illicit a fit of laughter, of course, at someone else's expense. But I realized something this past Sunday, and it really had nothing to do with practical jokes. Instead, the day reminded me just how much I hate really bad jokes. You know the kind, the type the guy you are standing next to thinks are the funniest things in the world, as you stand there barely able to break a painful smile. I can hear them now: "So, two guys walk into a bar."
   Jokes are schizophrenic, and hard to deliver. Good jokes can leave your audience rolling around in laughter, while the mediocre will leave people in your presence struggling to utter some sort of forced, utterly fake, inevitably pathetic, laugh. And so, I find it interesting the steps that someone will take to be polite, even to the worst joke teller - even more interesting to realize the thought processes even I myself will undergo when faced with a horrendous joke.
   Perhaps before the extent to which a person will go to be polite while struggling to laugh is explored, the scenario in which these things occur should be explained. For some reason, unbeknownst to me, it seems that when people are placed in social settings in which they know not the company by which they are graced, they often deem it necessary to whip out some lame jokes they heard ages ago, which often leave you struggling to get the anachronous punch line. They feel as though a joke will elevate their status amongst the group, making them the crowd favorite. But what they fail to understand is that a bad joke can devastate first impressions faster than they are even made. And so, spring break afforded plenty of opportunities in which I was surrounded in company that of course, I knew not, and inevitably, out came the lame jokes.
   I make faces. I know I do. I can't help it. And no, I'm not good at hiding it, like so many people are. What I'm thinking is plastered on my face, and if a joke isn't funny, well then, I'm just not smiling. I'm sure my face contorted in a thousand ways this past break, as I was presented with jokes that just didn't fall in the comic category. I knew I really should be the polite audience that everyone else is, and in a valiant effort I forced myself to smile, but this smile stemmed not from laughter, but from nervousness. I hate being embarrassed for other people, you know that feeling, when you feel so bad for the person you wish you could help. So, I figured a smile is the best way to help. So there I was, countless times, forcing a fake smile, all the while wishing I could vaporize from the situation. And as far as laughing, forget that, it would have sounded as if I was choking.
   But, honestly, I love a good joke. I love to laugh. Often times, I laugh at things that aren't even funny. And so, for a joke to crash and burn in my presence, it needs to be lame - with a capitol L. I think the remedy for bad joke tellers is for them to first recognize that they are not funny, as often the people delivering these jokes feel as though they are the funniest people on the face of the planet. Second of all, they need to rebuild their arsenal of jokes, perhaps update to the funny version. More importantly, all old, redundant jokes need to be outlawed. No more chickens crossing the road, no more small pianists, and no more bars. Originality is key in jokes, and often one-liners are the best of them. There's nothing worse than listening to a long-winded joke, and then not even laughing when the tirade is over. But most of all, I feel that bad joke tellers need to realize that often the best humor happens spontaneously, when things are not even intended to be funny. This would at least ease the stress that all of us feel when we know we should be laughing, and we just quite can't. There's nothing worse than a silent audience after the jokester has just delivered the punch line. But, ironically enough, that's what makes the situation comical - and hey, maybe they'll get it: they're just not funny.
   And oh, by the way, the third one ducked.