Volume CXXXIII, Number 5 October 12, 2001 f

How parents influence career paths of children
EIDER GORDILLO
STAFF WRITER

From a luncheon with female trustees last semester, to a recent women-in-rock concert, to an inviting resource center and library, various efforts have been made to admire the blossoming presence of women in this little place we call Bowdoin College. Part of this effort is reflected in the recent visit of Dr. Mary Jacobsen, author of Hand-Me-Down Dreams: How Families Influence Our Career Paths (NY: Three Rivers Press, 2000). Jacobsen has more than fifteen years of experience as a psychotherapist, teacher, career coach, and workshop leader. She has also taught at various colleges around the nation and has even served as an Assistant Dean at Empire State College of the State University of New York.

Beyond an impressive résumé, it was clear why Dr. Jacobsen's visit to Bowdoin was special. Her insight on both family dynamics around work ethics and personal choices about work seemed fitting in an environment where people do not really know what to do with their educated selves.

One day before her scheduled talk in Common Hour, a small group of students and faculty members gathered at Lancaster Lounge for dinner with her. In a conversation about Thursday night bowling, the former frat situation, and the choices one makes in life, Jacobsen was instrumental in advising personal sincerity. She also discussed some of her findings relevant to career choices, work ethics, and the role of the family in supporting a student's career hopping.

Jacobsen also addressed the "tension between living out someone else's expectations and one's own." Among other things, she suggested that if a student finds his or herself stuck in trying to please his or her parents or supporters, they will "avoid conflict and instead, motivate mutual empathy." With a small smile over some charbroiled chicken and brown rice she stated, "who you are is quite relevant!"

Further more, she invited us to "communicate with our parents." She stressed the importance of parents "not burdening you with fulfilling their own dreams." She assured, "[your parents] themselves are the only ones that can truly fill their gaps and their dreams, not you."

In the changing face of Bowdoin, celebrating difference is as important as sorting our your heart and your bunny-hopping career exploration. May the celebration of the presence of men, women, humans, difference - never fade. I know that if I were here 30 years ago, I'd be dead bored.