Volume CXXXIII, Number 9 November 9, 2001 f

Rugby rolls over Marist, 86-3
HUGH HILL
STAFF WRITER

"All I can remember was seeing was red. The tension was palpable. Then the whistle blew, those big barn doors opened wide, and we knocked them out."
Such was senior forward Adam Corman's recollection of the events that transpired a few short hours earlier, when Bowdoin Rugby thrashed Marist College 86-3 in the Northeast Quarterfinals last Saturday.

Rob Mandle '02, a speedy guy. (Karsten Moran, Bowdoin Orient)

The decisive victory guaranteed the ruggers a spot at this weekend's Northeast Conference Championship Tournament. The single elimination tournament, to be held at Umass Amherst this weekend, will feature Bowdoin and three other teams in a fight for the right to advance to the National Division II Men's Rugby Tournament, featuring the best eight teams in America, held next spring.

Bowdoin was apprehensive before the match. The scene at the team's temporary quarters in the Liddell Family Country Estate, "DeTritus Manorum," located in palatial Lakeville, Connecticut, was one of silent anticipation. As each of the 35 team members bedded down in his own suite of rooms, he mentally prepared himself to face the number one team in the New York Metropolitan Union, Marist College.

One junior, identified here only as "Rambo" to save him embarrassment, was actually heard holding back puppy-dog tears as he dreamed of the match to come.

Not all were fearful, however. Another junior, Dennis "Leo" Kiley, channeled his fear into pure aggression, working himself into such a frenzy that many of his teammates worried he would go overboard with his ritual red war paint and cover his entire body, rather than merely his face, in the unique sanguineous paint.

The ruggers poured out of their minivans and onto Marist's pitch in Poughkeepsie, New York on Saturday; nervous, but ready for the fight of their lives.

With a cry of "Stang dat shiznit beez mine foolio," roughly translated as "Excuse me sir, I believe I shall catch the ball and run with it," team "gangsta" and forward lock Dave Kirkland '03 dashed forward, his white legs shining in the sun, to land the first hit of the game.

The rest of the forward pack, under the expert stewardship of forward captain Billy "Lily's Letting Me Play Today, Guys!" Soares '02, followed on to blast the Marist forwards off the ball.

It was then up to the backs to insert the ball into the try zone, which they did repeatedly with vigor and aplomb. Every member of the backrow managed to score, many of them repeatedly, in the match.

Back captain Jason "D'Nunzio" Pietrafitta '02 had this to say about the game's events: "We came out a little tense, but once we realized how bad these guys were, we just cut loose and had a blast," he said. "We're the best, and they [Marist] sure got a Sicilian-style lesson in respect today. I'm glad I brought my black running tights to this match because that's all we did: run it right down their throats and into the try zone."

The other backs provided heroics as well. Leo inspired both fear and awe in his opponents with his amazing prowess and burning speed. "I think the last place I would ever want to be is trying to face down Kiley," quipped coach Richard Hyde. "The more he's hurtin', the harder he comes."

Frosty-headed first year Nick "Kiss Me, I'm an Aussie" Reid dazzled all by slipping and sliding through the Marist backs. When asked the source of this amazing ability, Reid pointed at his head and explained.

"Look, mate, I only shower about once a week if I'm lucky. So I just let the oil and grease from my hair saturate my entire body before a game. That's why the defenders can't catch me," he said.

While his logic may be cloudy, Reid's efforts were appreciated by star full back Torrey "Elmer Fudd" Liddell. Declaring that he was "going out to bag some bunnies," Liddell opened up "wabbit" season on Marist, consistently returning every one of their attempts to kick.

It was truly a day when everyone scored. Even the forwards got a taste of the action. Hooker Nathaniel "Crabs" Wolf '02 outran even his own backs as he marched the ball down the field.

"They made me put on shoes. They even made me put on pants. But they are not taking the ball from me. I love to run it up the middle like that," he said.

The real hero of the match had to be senior flanker Kris Bosse. Many thought that Bosse wouldn't play at his usual level after an illness earlier in week, but these notions were quickly discarded when Bosse exerted twice his normal effort.

"You know, for the first few minutes, I felt like I was behind a rock and I didn't want anyone to see me," he said. "Then, all of a sudden, I blew out of there with a tremendous burst of energy. I wish Seymour [Bosse's pet hamster and soulmate] could've seen me. I was on a bucking bronco and there was no way to stop me."

There was certainly no stopping Bowdoin that day, as the men in black hammered Marist 86-3. Fortunately, the only serious casualty in the victory was Alexis "Focus" Acevedo '04, who lost his right arm to an embittered Marist forward. Focus is recovering well at the Maine Medical ICU.

"We have an active and rigorous physical therapy program lined up for Focus," said a nurse who wished to remain anonymous. "It will be very similar to the endurance therapy we used with Hank [senior Hugh Hill, recently released from the same facility]. Focus can look forward to very little sleep and a very quick recovery."

Unfortunately, senior Ari "Flabio" Jasper was, for the second week in a row, unavailable during the match. According to his half-brother Andy Keshner '03, Flabio refused to leave the van and his "beloved, oh-so-precious DVDs."

He was replaced on the pine by senior Allen Barr, who arrived in a puff of smoke, rejoining the team (and the male gender) after having been "kept in a cage by an evil witch for a few years." Whatever that means, the game was exciting for those on and off the field.

This weekend at Amherst will be two days of hard-fought rugby, and no cakewalk for the boys in black. Tomorrow, Bowdoin faces the number one team in the New York State Union, the State University of New York at Plattsburg. Plattsburg beat Columbia in the quarterfinals and promises to bring stiff opposition.

Head coach and strategy master Rick Scala, interviewed in his offices at the Bowdoin Rugby Football Stadium Complex, was optimistic about the match. "If my boys come out and play their A-game, we're going to win, no questions about it," he said. "We obviously want it. We just have to come on out and take it."

Sunday will see the real action, when Bowdoin faces off with either Middlebury or Yale. The fact that three out of the four teams in the Northeast final hail from the New England "Ironman" Union (Bowdoin, Middlebury, Yale) is a testament to the level of competition Bowdoin enjoys in its home union.

The New England "Ironman" Union, of which Bowdoin is part, has long been the best in the Northeast. The New Englanders always prevail over weaker New York Metro Union opponents and outwit their physically larger but genetically un-diverse teams from the upstate New York State "Deliverance" Union.

The ruggers are hoping that Yale prevails over Middlebury so that they have a chance at revenge upon a team that brought such a narrow defeat just two weeks ago.

"This is going to be a clash of the forces of good and evil," said scrum half Matty Stanton '02. "I am sure we will prevail, because God is with us. Just like I direct my fourteen wives back in Utah, I will direct my fourteen teammates to victory on the path of God."

Stanton's prophetic sermon demonstrates just how serious the ruggers really are about nationals. Every evening, they practice by their car headlights for the upcoming tournament. They are fully confident in winning the Northeast Championship this weekend and advancing to nationals this spring. This conviction is so deep that the ruggers have already cancelled their spring tour to make room for a trip to nationals.

So if you can tear yourself away from the usual campus scene of sloppy parties, cheap beer, and even sloppier hookups, come on down to UMass Amherst this weekend. Watch Bowdoin's champions, the men's rugby team, prove why they're the best. GO BLACK!