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Volume CXXXII, Number 5 |
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Big Brothers and Webcams
ACADIA SENESE
COLUMNIST
Bowdoin webcams are a novel idea, despite the fact that they are reminiscent of George Orwell's 1984. Anywhere, anytime we can hop on our website and check out the action on the quad, or the dining hall for that matter. With a computer and an internet connection, you can check out who is strutting their stuff in the union or who just dropped their tray in the dining hall from anywhere in the world. While these webcam views are great and interesting, the following places could provide some really great entertainment.
Smith Union weight room: Forget the dining hall, the weight room in Smith Union would be far more entertaining. Not only could you check up on the latest "Bowdoin's strongest person," but you could figure out how to use the stairmaster before you get to the gym and fall flat on your face. There should be some censorship, however. Men in spandex on the elliptical machine should surly be blacked out. Nobody wants to see that, nobody.
Tower Elevators: This webcam would provide hours of entertainment. People alone in the elevators do things they would never do in public. When one feels as though nobody's watching, all inhibitions cease, and god knows what happens thereafter. Elevators on the weekend plus large drunken groups, lost couples, and people pushing buttons they should never touch create some great situations. In fact, a weekend of elevator webcam fiascos would cause anybody to use the stairs, even those at the very top of the tower. Professors would even hike it up to the sixteenth floor for their seminars after getting a glimpse of weekend elevator action. I'd definitely quit the elevator cold turkey.
Social House Dance Floors: This web shot would be ideal for any upperclassman scoping out the new faces. Ideal too for any cooped up library geek itching to go out on a Friday night but just can't. Not only will you see ridiculous dance moves and awkward socializing, but you may even see someone swing from the ceiling Christmas lights - in a moment of Tarzan inspiration - and fall unceremoniously into the middle of the house dance floor. You laugh, but it has happened.
Senior Pub Night: First off, you can laugh at all the underclassman trying to schmooze with the seniors a) to look cool and b) to get someone to buy them a Rolling Rock. This webcam should only be in operation after 11:15 p.m. when the hyped up bowling crowd gives the pub some life. As far as dancing, senior pub night will show you the do's and don'ts of dancing in one sitting. There are two extremes at the pub-the good dancers and the dancers who think they're great because the three beers they had tell them so. A webcam here will let you decide for yourself.
Electronic Classroom: Before you hit the library, you can check the tension levels in "H and Hell." You can also look at the lifeless expression of stressed out students desperately trying to finish a paper they haven't even started and taunt them from the comfort of your own room. You can even watch the nerd bell jolt the studious typers from their seats at one in the morning.
While all these places would surely provide some great entertainment, I'm sure most of us would hate to see webcams put up in the pub or elsewhere. It's all fun and games, until your parents get hold of the web shots.