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Volume CXXXII, Number 13 |
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"Superbowl" Speech
JASON LONG
COLUMNIST
As an avid football fan and, evidently, a coach potato, I relished the circumstances of last Sunday's Super Bowl. Oakland was playing in their home state against a Tampa Bay team coached by John Gruden, a man only one year removed from the Oakland team he had to face. The NFL's best offense was squaring off against the best defense in the most watched (and hyped) prime time event of the year. After the final seconds elapsed in Super Bowl 37, what once was anticipation for a milestone championship now appeared to have been beer-goggle optimism. I started the evening with high hopes, yet woke up Monday short $150 and with a bitter taste in my mouth.
The game ended as a painfully dull 48-21 thrashing of the Raiders. Oakland quarterback Rich Gannon, the league MVP mind you, couldn't distinguish between teams, throwing five touchdown passes; two for his own team and three for his opponent. The halftime show was no more entertaining. With performances by Celine Dion, Carlos Santana, Sting, and Bon Jovi, I thought I was watching a VH1 marathon of Where Are They Now? Thoroughly disappointed in television last week, my only salvation was the Prime Time event of Tuesday, January 28: the State of the Union Address, what one Fox News analyst called "the Super Bowl of American speeches."
Last year, President Bush took this opportunity to designate his "Axis of Evil," a foreign policy insult so misguided and aggressive that even Speed Racer screamed, "SLOW DOWN!" One could only imagine, with war looming and a slow economy, what our leader would announce this time. Word on the street was that the President would finally offer some solid evidence to the American people that supports his conquistador Iraq policy. Not to sound hawkish, but part of me wants to believe the guy-after all, he is President. So there I sat, Mountain Dew in hand with the TV glowing, anticipating to finally hear precisely why Iraq is such an imminent threat.
If you missed the speech, it was at times encouraging. President Bush put on an Oscar worthy facade by spending precious time promising hydrogen cars and other green initiatives. Some say, however, that the major obstacle for such initiatives is probably the presiding administration. To make matters worse, the Democrats selected Washington Governor Gary Locke to deliver the response. When news anchors introduced Gary the entire nation responded with a collective, "Who?" Gee, nice choice, guys. I guess Bon Jovi was already taken?
The meat and potatoes of the Presidential address had to be when President Bush announced, we have conclusive evidence linking Iraq to terrorism (drum roll please...) and Secretary of State Colin Powell will be glad to share it with the U.N. in February. After all the hype, the State of the Union concluded like a ten cent comic book, "to be continued." In the end, the President chose to justify his position to France before briefing the families of deployed soldiers, not to mention waste a perfectly good prime time slot.
Oh well, there's always next year.
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