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Volume CXXXII, Number 16 |
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It's good to fly solo
LARA JACOBS
COLUMNIST
For singles the world over, it's time to breathe a sigh of relief; we made it. Valentine's Day came and went; the remnants of our binges on conversation hearts and Mrs. See's chocolate are beginning to disappear from our frame. Once again we don't have to be reminded of our single status for another year, or at least until we talk to our grandma.
Despite the fact that it is simply a 24 hour period of time, it's easy to feel as if the day will never end and difficult to avoid despairing if the roses don't come. Thus this year, to avoid the Valentine's blues, my friend and I decided to spend the weekend in Boston, celebrating girlhood and singledom.
Unfortunately, it appeared that the world was set against my Valentine's plans. When I arrived in Boston on Friday, I quickly learned that my friend was sick with the flu. To be honest, my good attitude was vanishing faster than a pan of heart-shaped brownies in a freshman dorm; the idea of not having a Valentine was bearable, but the idea of spending Valentine's night alone seemed borderline depressing.
To my surprise, while riding the T, Chinese food in tow, with guys carrying tulips peeking out of Northface backpacks and red teddy bears smiling from the inside of coats, I felt content with myself. I sat there thinking how for one minute all of my self-doubts vanished; I was who I always dreamed of being as a little girl, independent, self-sufficient, and adventurous.
Oddly enough, sitting in our room on the third floor of the bed and breakfast eating orange chicken, something everyone I know thinks is disgustingly sweet, Valentine's cookies from the front desk, and watching alternately Notting Hill and the apartment building across the street where a couple were dancing in their kitchen, I had to admit it was possibly one of the best Valentine's Days I'd ever had, a combination of enjoying who and where I was.
The next day, whether on the T riding to Quincy Market or running on the cobblestone street to Harvard Square, it occurred to me that I couldn't remember the last time I spent a significant amount of time alone. At Bowdoin, everything is a group activity-have you eaten a meal alone recently? It struck me that I spend so much of my life avoiding solitude, making plans for all meals, Friday and Saturday nights, even exercising and studying in a group.
Although I hadn't planned on it, this weekend ended up enabling me to think, to take a break from the world, and rather than being lonely, I found myself wishing that I had more time. Ironically, I went to Boston expecting to take solace in the fact that I had no significant other on Valentine's Day, instead I spent the weekend reconnecting with the person I found Friday night staring back from the subway window, myself.
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