|
Volume CXXXII, Number 17 |
 |
Divine Comedy isn't so funny
JASON LONG
HUMOR COLUMNIST
I made some people angry Tuesday night when I spoke at the Bowdoin Student Government meeting concerning the Iraq Resolution. Those who know me are acquainted with my determined and opinionated nature, but many folks who don't know me just think I suck. I'd like to explain my perspective via an expression of the great Italian poet Dante Alighieri.
Dante's Divine Comedy ventures into Hell and, in the third Canto of the Inferno for those taking notes, reveals an exceptionally atrocious space reserved for the morally neutral. In other words, those who avoid having an opinion in times of moral uncertainty get RSVP-ed into the worst possible suite of the Hades Holiday Inn.
At this point I do not support a U.S. strike on Iraq for reasons I wouldn't expect anyone short of my mother to be interested in. Note to self: call mom. I think a few students thought I was trying to emulate Donald Rumsfeld last Tuesday, but I'd prefer to be associated with a dead Italian poet named Dante.
Four the six people that were not crowded into Moulton Union for the BSG's first Annual Meeting Worth Attending, allow me to paint the picture of what happened. A resolution in the form of a petition had been circulated by a well organized coalition of students in opposition to a war against Iraq. Some 920 of you signed it, so I assume we're on the same page so far. This group took the resolution to the BSG for their endorsement, following a trend similar to other liberal arts colleges in the northeast. The problem was, or at least my problem was, that the "endorsing" of this resolution raised serious concerns around the procedure and appropriate role of the Bowdoin Student Government. Fortunately, 14 out of the 25 members ended up feeling at least similarly to me, and the Resolution failed. Now the issue should be going to referendum, which in my opinion is the only acceptable procedure for our student government structure to be involved. In the end, I think it is safe to assume that the coalition against war will get what they want through this referendum, and in a form that is harder to refute than the original petition.
Ok, by now you are wondering, "I thought this idiot was a humor columnist?" Well, if you wanted humor you should have attended the meeting. It was there where one member actually argued that he wasn't concerned with whether or not petition signers actually read what they were singing. In his own words, this member can "not help it if you're illiterate." I would like to think that petition validity would be important considering student opinion was the premise of BSG support. Things became even more bizarre moments later when members debated the outcome of 920 minus 100. Note to the Baldwin Learning Center: attend BSG meetings, you are needed.
I was unimpressed by the meeting in general, if you couldn't tell. Not only does the BSG not use parliamentary procedure, but some members struggle to delineate between striking and amending, and I know at least one member who wasn't exactly sure what he voted for. All this and people wonder why I hesitate to give this group the authority to represent my political views to the Federal Government! Try reading your own constitution first BSG, think baby-steps.
I must give our representatives the benefit of the doubt, this is a group of well educated and well intended students. Knowing this, what then caused such disorder and confusion? Was it the stress around such a hot issue, was it the timing, or the cramped space? Actually, I suspect the mind-numbing trance induced by Miscellania is to blame. They sounded great, but I seriously think they hypnotized the right side of the room. I am trying to get the Improvabilities to perform at the next meeting, I think we'll play the Party Game. Cabul will bring the chips.
For me, this resolution had less to do with Iraq and everything to do with the future of the BSG. The way I saw it, accepting the resolution without either a referendum or a constitutional amendment would have led to the total politicization of the BSG. In turn, the BSG would be replaced with a partisan Bull Sh** Government sooner than later.
As things stand now, the BSG is hardly efficient enough handle what it already deals with, so adding more to the plate would probably be destructive anyway. I believe we need a body to focus on campus life and to represent students to the College Administration on College issues, and I would hate to see the loss of that institution in the name of political activism regardless of the cause.
In the meantime, people are still flustered with me and I guess it's something I just have to live with and probably get used to. In the end, maybe the coalition is right and my position is over concerned with "technicalities," I only beg that as I respect your protests you respect mine. I pray the best man wins, and I don't necessarily presume to be that man. But, to avoid the Inferno, I'd rather be wrong than quiet in these times of moral uncertainty.
|
FastCounter by bCentral |