|
Volume CXXXII, Number 19 |
 |
A Bowdoin fairy tale
KARA OPPENHEIM
COLUMNIST
Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away, there lived a beautiful princess. (Actually, beautiful might not be the right word, but she was pretty hot for Bowdoin). The princess lived at the top of a tall tower, the tallest in the land north of Portland. She was a good and kind princess, but she could not, for the life of her, find any princes in the kingdom that suited her. Some were too short, some too fat, some had reputations of being players, many she had already hooked up with and some she was so close with that she didn't want to ruin their friendship.
The princess spent her days usefully and tried not to think about her loneliness. She went about her learning, went to the gym as often as she could and tried to be a good friend to all. She spent her weekends mingling with the people but still, at the end of the day (or night), when she went home, she was lonely. She still slept with the royal blankie (shh, don't tell) but for some reason, it didn't keep her company the same way it had when she was a little princess.
In the nearby village of the Apartments of Brunswick lived a knight of the court. He was a brave and chivalrous knight and he was renowned throughout the NESCAC for his prowess with the tennis racquet. He was nice looking; not a Polo model, but again, of the 1,600 people in this lovely land, he wasn't too bad. He, too, had searched far and wide for a fair maiden to call his love (although he couldn't really admit it to anyone but himself). He had hooked up with many of these fair maidens, but some were not so fair, some tried to force him into a relationship after one hookup, and some were just plain sluts.
Now, the knight and the princess each knew who the other was; they had seen each other around and went to some of the same balls and galas, but that was about it. Then, at one festival, the princess found herself in a conversation with the knight. They started talking about classes and what they were going to do over the summer and soon the conversation moved on to other topics. They had a nice, long discussion, but each went their separate ways, she going home with her friends to order pizza and he going home with a freshman maid of the Court of Tennis. He didn't even really like the maid of the Court of Tennis, but he was influenced by the strong spirits he had drank and unfortunately he would be plagued by it for the rest of the season, but knights don't always think that far ahead.
The knight and the princess now began to say hello to each other in passing and even talked during the day whilst at the library. She thought he was very nice and kind of cute; he thought she was attractive as well. At other galas and balls they would talk and enjoy talking, each one becoming more and more attracted to the other, but unwilling to admit it.
As I said, the knight was brave and chivalrous; it came a day he decided that, even though he did not know if the fair princess shared his affection for her, he would ask her to dine with him sometime. He wasn't quite brave enough to ask her in person, but the email did the same job. The princess was so impressed and flattered by his gallantry that she immediately replied in the affirmative, asking if Tuesday worked for him.
The night was perfect: he picked her up and drove her to the Starfish Grill; they had a wonderful dinner (which she graciously offered to split with him, but he was too much of a gentleman to let her pay at all) with scintillating conversation; he drove her home and she told him that she'd had fun and they should do it again some time.
Thursday night was another ball and of course they saw each other. At first it was sort of awkward, but the princess approached the knight and they began chatting. After a while they realized that there was no one else at the ball they would rather be with than the other and so the knight walked the princess home and went up to her chamber. The next day he emailed her and they discussed plans for that evening. At the gala they talked to other people, but they were both happy because they knew they liked each other and could go home together at the end of the night. And they did. And lived happily ever after. That is, until he found out that she had hooked up with his roommate freshman year, but that, children, is another story all together.
THE END.
|
FastCounter by bCentral |