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Volume CXXXII, Number 21 |
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Bold predictions in the sports world
J.P. BOX
COLUMNIST
Want the sports beat? Belligerent fans will continue to rush the field, Patrick Roy will hoist the Stanley Cup in June, the Miami Dolphins will win Super Bowl XXXIX, and Mike Piazza will be traded to an American League contender. I swear. If you're less than convinced, I am willing to spell it out.
Number one-imagine the following scene: you used to attend ball games at Comiskey Park, but now you're sitting in the brand-spanking new U.S. Cellular Field. Ticket prices have been jacked, a hot dog and a beer cost 15 bucks, and you have already watched three knuckleheads from the crowd take a lap around the field.
Suddenly, a brilliant idea enters the mind of your 24-year-old self. I am going to tackle the first base umpire, get thrown in jail, and make the Sports Center highlights. This scene occurred Tuesday night in Chicago, as an unidentified fan hopped into the field of play and plunged into umpire Laz Diaz.
Diaz and a host of security personnel subdued the obnoxious spectator who is being charged with aggravated battery-a felony. Meanwhile, Kevin Hallinan, Major League Baseball's senior vice president for security and facilities, is conducting an investigation to determine how to how to keep fans from rushing the field.
Hallinan's plan will likely involve more security personnel, which will make life more difficult for the average Joe at the ballpark but won't prevent the avid streaker, or in this case attacker, from entering the field of play.
Instead of increasing the number of inept security guards, Hallinan should strike a deal with the media. After all, as long as ESPN and other sport affiliates willingly provide idiotic fans with 15 seconds of fame, attention-hungry spectators will charge the field as they please.
Number two-Patrick Roy will win his fifth Stanley Cup and lead the Colorado Avalanche to its third Stanley Cup since 1996. With the aging Detroit Red Wings faltering in the first round against the Anaheim Mighty Ducks, the Avs' biggest mental roadblock is out of the way.
After getting shelled 7-0 in game seven of the Western Conference Finals last year, Roy left Detroit's Joe Louis Arena under a cloud of speculation that he had lost the edge.
On top of his playoff collapse, the NHL denied Roy the Vezina Trophy, a honor given to the league's best goalie.
The award went to Montreal Canadiens' Jose Theodore, even though Roy put up the best regular season of his 20-year NHL career. Saint Patrick finished the year with nine shutouts, a .925 save percentage, and 1.94 goals-against-average. His playoff collapse, however, cost his team a shot at the Cup and cost Roy another piece of hardware on his mantle.
In 2003, Roy and the Avs will not be denied. To put it simply, the goaltender with a penchant for the impossible and demoralizing save is pissed. The all-time leader in playoff wins will add to his resume, as the Avs top the Senators in six games.
Number three-the Miami Dolphins will play the most physical brand of football in the NFL during the 2003-2004 season and win its second Super Bowl in franchise history. The addition of Junior Seau is the biggest acquisition of the off-season for any NFL team.
After anchoring the Chargers' defense for over a decade, Seau will play a supporting role with the Dolphins. Although the 34-year-old has lost a step, he will benefit from the attention devoted to defensive standouts Zach Thomas and Jason Taylor. For the first time, Seau will be an afterthought, allowed to roam free.
His leadership and fire will energize the most talented defense in the NFL. After giving up a meager 291 yards-per-game in the 2002-2003 season, the Dolphins will challenge the Buccaneers as the top defensive unit in the NFL. With Patrick Surtain and Sam Madison patrolling the secondary, the Dolphins will force teams to establish the run-something that will be very difficult against a talented front four and an even more talented linebacker corp.
Offensively, Ricky Williams will lead a smash-mouth, methodical offense that will control the ball and wear down opposing defenses. In 2004, the Dolphins will shed the underachiever tag and claim the Vince Lombardi Trophy.
Number four-Mike Piazza has a promising future in the American League as a designated hitter. Look for the reeling Mets to deal the slugger to a contending A.L. squad as the postseason approaches. Why would the Mets part ways with the future Hall-of-Famer?
Piazza is a DH who likes to play catcher-and he's not even above average behind the plate. In Sports Illustrated's season preview, an opposing scout said, "Mike Piazza is not a very good catcher, but I respect how hard he works at the position."
Piazza is a commodity in that he is a catcher who hits for power and produces RBIs. Traditionally, the mental and physical wear and tear of playing catcher has a negative effect inside the batter's box. Although previously immune to the condition, Piazza is currently mired in an early slump, hitting just .158 with one homerun.
With numbers like that, his defense and ability to manage pitchers will not keep him in the starting lineup. Although Piazza will most likely end the season with 30 homeruns and 90 RBIs, he would be much more productive as a DH. After all, it's not as if he is irreplaceable defensively.
But who could possibly pick up Piazza's 9.5 million dollar salary? None other than George Steinbrenner. Piazza just might get a ring for New York.
And it's all going to happen. I swear.
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