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Volume CXXXII, Number 22 |
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The traveler's path
LARA JACOBS
COLUMNIST
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,/ I took the one less traveled by, /And that has made all the difference."
Sometimes I feel that I've encountered enough forks in the road to last a lifetime. Several are as small and insignificant as what to have for lunch, sandwich or bagel, while others carry much more weight, which college to attend, which internship, which major, ultimately which career. Over the years, Frost's words have seemed like a confirmation of the power each decision holds, one choice, one path at that fork can "make all the difference" in determining my life. This pressure to select the "right path" triggers many forms of destructive behavior: rumination--the constant wondering of what the other path might have led to, as well as inertness-so afraid are we of selecting the wrong trail that we never actually make a decision, either standing at the fork indefinitely, or waiting until the choice is made for us.
Ironically enough, rather than believing that one path can "make all the difference" in a person's life, Frost wrote these last lines mocking his friend, Edward Thomas, who always ruminated on and regretted paths not taken. In fact, Frost thought there was little value in second-guessing choices already made; not assuming one leg could "make all the difference" on the journey of a lifetime. Instead, Frost expected that when we come to the forks in the roads, we choose and move on, without too much analysis.
Although Frost's trivialization may sound cynical, in the end, it's much more realistic.
Can one choice, one road really make all the difference in our lives? I doubt it. Whether you turn left or right at the fork, you're still in the woods; similarly, whether you attended Colby or Bowdoin will most likely not change your ultimate journey of being an upper-middle class doctor with three kids living in Massachusetts. While you may have different friends and a different version of your life, realistically the physical paths we follow are more negligible than we might like to think. In the end, what determines our lives goes beyond a certain school, internship, or job; it's who we are-our work ethic, morals, beliefs, passions, and our character.
In practical terms, choose a path and stick to it, no regrets. Don't stress or wonder what might have been--all this does is make you overlook the flowers in front of you by thinking which one's might have dotted another trail. At this point in your life, whether your road forks at class selections or career paths, taking women's studies or education will not significantly alter your life in the end. The problem with focusing too much on the actual trails is that we forget what the actual variable is… ourselves. Throughout our lives, we will walk on many different paths, and pass by many more, we will make decisions and have regrets, but the important part to remember is that it's the traveler and not the road that determines the life in the end.
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