Volume CXXXIII, Number 4 October 3, 2003 f

Romance found in flatwater canoeing

ELLIOT JACOBS
COLUMNIST

Naturalist Sigurd Olson's words, penned in 1956, sum up the essence of flatwater canoeing, a peaceful and graceful sport offered almost every weekend by the Bowdoin Outing Club.

"But hey, Sigurd," you say, "this is the 21st century, not the 19th century! I get my profound and abiding satisfaction from yoga every Thursday. Where's the excitement? Where's the action?"
Well, allow me to pick up where Sigurd left off. What you may not know about flatwater canoeing is that it is irresistible to the opposite sex. No joke-the ladies are very drawn to the type of person who paddles flatwater. He's unpredictable, maybe a little crazy, but you can tell by the way he holds his paddle that he'll treat a lady right.

Now, I hear your skepticism. "How many women have you gotten, Elliot, just because you canoe?"

At this point, fellas, I've lost count. I literally have to fight them off with my paddle.

What's the draw for the opposite sex? The speed, the danger, the excitement-that's the real way of the canoe. I'll be Maverick, you be Kelly McGillis: "Make love to me now or lose me forever!" Oh yeah.

Think about it: it's just you, your paddle, your partner (a lady?), and a canoe that can reach speeds up to a nearly-impossible-to-control three miles per hour. Excitement? All you can handle, bro. All the elements of romance are there-the wetness, the mutual exertion, and I won't even get into the actual paddling. It's hot, like "Speed," but much much much slower. And don't you worry, ladies, it's a two-way street. Here's the bottom line: you put a paddle in one arm, you'll have your choice of a man or woman on the other arm before you can say "cross-bow draw."

Why am I letting you in on this little secret? Well, it just so happens that BOC canoe trips have not been filling up as much as they legitimately should. It hurts my heart to think of all those relationships that never got started because students (and I blame you, freshmen) think that canoeing is just something that Lewis and Clark did. As you can see, canoeing is dynamic, enjoyable, and above all, sexy. Don't listen to that other sex columnist who tells you to meet "hotties" at Potter Street. The real action is out on the flatwater with the BOC.

So let's see some people signing up for BOC trips next weekend! Granted, the romance may have to take a backseat this week because it's Parents' Weekend and everyone's parents are invited. Who knows, though-there could be some "Parent Trap" action going on, I'm not one to say. All I know is that there is a flatwater canoe trip going out on Saturday, and I want to see all of you on the list for it.

Also on Saturday is a Morse Mountain day hike-an awesome way to get off campus and kill some time while your parents are here. These parent/student trips are definitely some of the best of the year because the leaves are changing, the weather is crisp, and it is a great way to show your parents a really beautiful place.

Signups for these two trips will be posted Monday morning. Even if you don't go next weekend, you owe it to yourself to sign up for one soon-there is a canoe trip almost every weekend from now until hell (aka Maine) freezes over. Sign up…sign up a friend…sign up a lady friend! Take it from me, she'll never look at you the same way again.

since 11/01/02 FastCounter by bCentral