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Volume CXXXIII, Number 14 |
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Love in outdoors
ELLIOT JACOBS
COLUMNIST
In honor of Valentine's Day tomorrow, in lieu of the normal BOC article, I am going to present these love epistles between two outdoorsy lovers-Bodie and Kestrel. I hope, dear reader, that they meet with your approval, and for information about upcoming outing club activities, check the BOC website.
Kes,
I couldn't help but notice how good your Patagonia dragonfly jacket looked with your shorts when I saw you climbing. You're really rad; when you put up that 5.11, it really made my heart flutter. I don't want to get all agro on you, but, I have to say, I can really see it. You-so carefully careless and into yoga-me-so environmentally conscious and with a fake California accent: I really think we could make something happen. Let me know if you're feeling these vibes at all.
Peace,
Bodie
Bodie,
I confess that I too was struck by your well-broken-in Carhart wear and disheveled hair. And when I saw you pull that mountain bike out of your parent's Volvo, I feel like something really clicked. I want to save Tibet, too! Let me know if you want to meet up for some bubble tea or a tomato and mozzarella wrap. I'll be thinking about you...
Wishes,
Kestrel
P.S. Maybe in the future we could reverse gender roles and you could type in italics? Why is it always women who are "italicized"? You know?
Kestrel,
I am so glad that you suggested that we switch type, I feel like I was getting all patriarchal on you. I had a really awesome time at bubble tea yesterday-I feel like we really connected, you know? What is your totem animal? You remind me a lot of a tern, or perhaps a badger. I really liked the way that you didn't even care that your prAna pants had paint stains on them, and that you weren't wearing undergarments. Maybe you could come over sometime this week? My buddies and I were going to get together and look at the new Patagonia catalog and talk about world poverty relief. Let me know if you're interested.
Namaste (that means, "I honor the light within you" in Nepalese. Rad.),
Bodie
Bodie,
I had a hella-good time with you and your buddies. That incense that you bought at the Wal-Mart in Tibet is amazing-also, I have to say I'm impressed by the quantity and variety of stickers on your Nalgene. I think it's cool that you guys are so comfortable wearing sarongs and Hawaiian shirts around the house. Your casa is really amazing-great idea with the surfboard coffee table. I couldn't stop thinking about you laying me down on it, and we could ride, you know? I think I love you.
Double Namaste,
Kestrel
Kes,
I woke up early this morning and went for a paddle in my sea kayak. I thought about, you know, all the people who don't have sea kayaks, or even waterproof/breathable outerwear. I felt bad, and I also realized, that I love you too. I'm stealing my dad's gas card, and taking the Volvo. I thought I'd pick you up tonight, and we could head for J. Tree. I'll meet you outside your house-bring that special granola. I love you.
Bodie
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